What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Is it still wrong to spread misinformation even if it's only to troll people rather than harming them?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why does an older married man turn bisexual?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Make Nazis afraid again!

How do you get a teenage boy to care about hygiene?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Is TikTok a creation of the porn industry? To make porn more normalized and accepted? So the porn industry doesn’t lose customers?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why is there so much free porn on the internet?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Should you have a threesome with your best friend and your significant other if the significant other requests it?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Could humans be selectively bred, like dogs, to create 2 subspecies that can no longer have offspring? Do I not understand selective breeding properly? Im not worried about the moral implications, just the science please.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Women like what they hear while men like what they see, it that true?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

TEXT:

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why isn't bestiality illegal in most states? If children can't consent, then animals DEFINITELY can't consent. Why is being a pedophile a crime but zoophilia is not?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why would a person always be so tired?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What was your best experience of having your navel touched?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.